Setting #1: The Brisbane Club, Thursday 30^th November, 7:30 pm – Patrick Byrom’s team, calm and silent, readies itself for the forthcoming 7-board match.

Setting #2: The Golden Shores Resort, Gold Coast, Thursday 30^th November, 6:00 pm – the majority of Club Bullwinkle’s sleep-deprived team erupts into chaos, thusly:

Uebel: [Checking through text messages on his mobile phone] Ha! I think someone’s sent a message to the wrong number.

Nash: Really? What’s it say?

Uebel: "Mister Mules called. His daughter is ill and cannot play." That’s funny!

Nash: Makes no sense at all.

Edwards: [Frowns] Actually, it probably does.

Uebel: How’s that?

Edwards: That’ll be Karina. Mis-spelt.

Stawski: Oh, Karina’s playing is she?

Edwards: Well, apparently not.

Uebel: What’s this?

Edwards: The Brisbane Club match.

Nash: Do we have a match on?

Stawski: Yep. This Thursday. What day is it, anyway?

Edwards: Thursday.

All: [Momentary pause for contemplation, and then:] (Various expletives) THE MATCH!!

Setting #3: The abode of Mister Peter Evans, Thursday 30^th November, 6:05 pm – a somewhat bemused Peter Evans receives an invitation to once again represent Club Bullwinkle. Where? The Brisbane Club. When? Er, really quite soon...

Setting #4: The Golden Shores Resort underground carpark, Gold Coast, Thursday 30^th November, 6:15 pm – Nik Stawski receives a phone call from Alejandro Dubrovsky. Don’t we have a match tonight? Yeah mate. 7:30 at the Brisbane Club. Hold on a second. We’re in a carpark down the Gold Coast and the reception’s not good. We’ll be out in twenty seconds...

Setting #5: The Brisbane Club, Thursday 30^th November, 7:35 pm – the ‘Deep South’ element of Club Bullwinkle sheds its sombreros, loses its Texican accents, enters the building and collectively falls asleep...

[match details]

Highlights: Allinta Rose debuts successfully for Club B; Andrew Johnston’s pawn blunder leaves Peter Evans with a souped-up Benko; Konrad Uebel imposes a 15 minute time limit on his own thinking in an effort to stay awake; George Flitcroft-Smith plays the better side of a draw against Alejandro Dubrovsky but is unable to secure the full point; Ricky Nash invents his own theory against John Alkin’s semi-slav; Pat Byrom capitalises on a third-degree blunder by Edwards and notches up a win; Nik Stawski, in better shape than he was on Tuesday night but still not 100% alert, plays a tremendous game against the Brisbane Club’s star import...

Thanks must go to: The Brisbane Club (for hosting this fine match); Patrick Byrom (for legitimate organisation); Craig Rose (for making a mercy dash in search of Coke); KFC, Labrador (for giving Nik two crispy chicken strips for the price of one).

Club Bullwinkle is still accepting interclub challenges. Expect disorganisation.