It’s Christmas Day Eve and the year is fast disappearing. (I will best remember this year for having discovered the Barking Duck.) This honour has been thrust upon me with the relentless enthusiasm of a chemically enhanced orang-utan, so excuse me if my acceptance speech is not entirely lucid. I have been cornered and now I am desperately trying to crawl into a hole too small for me, like a bottom-heavy wombat. Cheers, thanks very much, and adieu.