"This is one of the rare films that makes one sit up straight and acknowledge one’s own mental deficiencies. There is obviously a message here, but, sad to admit, I find myself unable to decipher it... The blatant, suggestive, repetitive imagery (note especially the scorpion, the kite, and the countess’s ‘dance of death’); the haunting scenes interspersed with fairground jingles; the scholarly doctor who wants nothing more than to be at one with evil; said doctor’s stilted yet confrontational dialogue with the would-be victim’s confused boyfriend (again repetitive); the total absence of traditional vampire themes (the countess takes her target skinny dipping); the allusions to the original Dracula, and the seeming proximity between the various locales employed throughout the film; the role of the mysterious bodyguard, the ex-victim mental patient, and said patient’s lover (now a mass-murdering psycho). All of this means something. It’s deep. It’s disturbingly profound. It’s potentially award-winning. But alas! If only I understood! Ahead of its time and, I suspect, hovering tantalisingly above the average viewer’s intellectual plane, this picture is a must for all lovers of vampires, subtitles and/or pretentious cinematography. I give it 2.5 wooden coffins." – Henry Enjische (printed with permission)

If you have had the pleasure of viewing Vampyros Lesbos, please send a review to Club Bullwinkle c/o fatruphus@yahoo.co.uk