Dear Mr Edwards,

I am writing to give formal notification to "Club Bullwinkle" of my decision to proceed with legal action against "Club Bullwinkle" and its associated organisations. The action arises from the reference to my self as 'Big Arthur' in various media, including the Queensland Chess Magazine and the so-called "Club Bullwinkle" website.

Now it must be made perfectly clear that the members of Club Bullwinkle, whom I have known for some 10 years, have been long aware of my sensitivity over my abnormal height and size. I have repeatedly asked, nay, begged on bended knees, for these very influential and therefore dangerous young players to please stop with these torturous taunts. How would you like it if you were reminded of the fact that you were 6 feet tall every time you walked in to a tournament hall to play a quiet game of chess? All I hear is "Big Arthur this, Big Arthur that." It's enough to make me cry myself to sleep. I even suffered the indignity of been forcefully given a "Club Bullwinkle" shirt with the words 'Big Arthur' printed on the back.

To add to my complete and utter humiliation, these callous hooligans who call themselves 'chess players' have decided to add more offensive names to their repertoire of verbal assault weapons. Names such as "Fanie, Cyril, Al, Fudge Master, The Wild Boy, and Stupid Man" have quite simply caused me irreparable damage and will handicap me for the rest of my life.

I hope "Club Bullwinkle" is well and truly satisfied with itself.

You'll be hearing from my lawyer you dirty bastards. And by the way ... Your mothers wear army boots!!

Yours Sincerely,