Club Bullwinkle
(Just What the Sweet
Ballyhoo is it, Anyway?)
Club Bullwinkle was founded in 1994 by
University of Queensland students Jacob Edwards
and Konrad Uebel. Although usually assumed to
be a reference to Bullwinkle J. Moose, the name actually is
twice-removed, deriving in fact from a racehorse (which, from memory, didn’t
fare all that well).
In terms of chess, Club Bullwinkle limits
itself to interclub matches, usually over the board but occasionally
long-distance (such as the ‘97 telephone match
versus Toowoomba). Socially, the club meets
sporadically at the Three Monkeys Café to play transfer.
Club Bullwinkle membership is conferred upon
players immediately after their first interclub match, and is permanent.
(Although Miguel Alvarado was banned for
several years following that unfortunate incident at the Gold Coast’s ‘Tin Corrupt’…)
Within the ranks there exists an inner circle – the pyramid of fame – for
players who have represented Bullwinkle in ten or more long matches (or twenty
or more rapid matches).
In the selection of any given team, preference
is given to existing members, so the recruitment of new players is often
last-minute and very much a test of prospective members’ ‘go to’ capabilities.
(The best example of such a debut comes courtesy of Russell
Mowles, who was drafted in with only five minutes left on the clock when
it belatedly became evident that his predecessor – despite emphatic reassurances
to the contrary – wasn’t going to show up. Russell, of course, went on to win
the Bullwinkle Player of the Year award in 2002.)
The Bullwinkle
recruitment policy being what it is, it seems almost inevitable that family
members will fall like dominoes into the club; even if, strictly speaking, they
don’t play chess…
Having played against (and lost to) several
school teams with which it has an association, Bullwinkle has since found it
cathartic to recruit some erstwhile opponents:
·
From ACGS – aka ‘Churchie’ – as coached
by Nik Stawski and already represented by Paul Kalokerinos, Andrew
Meldrum and David Smerdon: Michael Davidovici; Kieron
Olm-Milligan; Ben McPhee.
·
From Saint Stephen’s College, as coached
by Nik Stawski and already represented by Karina Mowles: Michelle
Mowles; Christopher Hardy.
·
From Bardon Primary, as coached by David Lavercombe: Laurence
Bristow.
POACHED PLAYERS
Over the years, Bullwinkle has targeted several
players from rival clubs, primarily on social grounds but undeniably with half
an eye to playing strength: Craig Stewart (Logan City);
Nathan Davidson & Brian Thomas (Redcliffe);
Matt Sonter (Gold Coast); Cameron Bailey (Brisbane Club); Kieran
Lyons (The
Gap); Halim Nataprawira (Café Checocho);
Moulthun
Ly (Kings of Chess).
While some of these players have limited
themselves to moonlighting for Bullwinkle, others have switched their
allegiances entirely. In 2006 Craig Stewart
became only the second player in Bullwinkle’s history to enter the Pyramids of
Fame for both long and short matches.
In a gesture of
goodwill (having poached Craig), Bullwinkle stalwart Jacob
Edwards turned out for Logan City in two
matches against Wacol (2001-2002), and was
joined by Regina Grenfell for one versus the Gold Coast (2003).
FRIENDLY FIRE
Ipso
facto, Bullwinkle has played against its recruits,
but also it has had occasion to face some of its own: Nik
Stawski, heading the rival team Santiago City in the Phoenix
Cup of ‘97; Jonathan Humphrey,
injudiciously loaned to Queensland University for a one-off match in
2003; Roland Schmaltz, pushing pieces for Café
Checocho in 2007.
TITLED PLAYERS
In order of joining the club: FM Nik Stawski
(1996); GM
David Smerdon (1997); FM Jonathan Humphrey (2000); WIM Anastasia Sorokina (2003); GM Roland Schmaltz
(2005); WFM
Kieran Lyons (2006).
Nik Stawski
would like it placed on record that he is the world’s lowest-rated ‘master’. “Feeble Master, I said, damn it! Feeble!”
INTERCLUB TITLES
In addition to contesting an ongoing series of
friendly matches (The Fozzle Stick), Club Bullwinkle has performed
well at the various Queensland Interclub Championships:
·
The Queensland Interclub Championship
(run from 2002-present): 1st Place 2003 (equal), 2005-2006, 2008
(equal).
·
The Phoenix Cup (run from 1994-2000): 1st Place
1995-1997, 1999-2000; 2nd Place 1998.
With limited opportunities, Bullwinkle also has
performed well at a national level:
·
The Australian Clubs Teams Championship
(run from 2003-2004): 2nd Place 2004; 3rd Place 2003.
On the grounds that a team is greater than the
sum of its parts, it has been suggested that Bullwinkle represent Australia at
the Chess Olympiad. (Or, failing that, some
random country that doesn’t already have a team.)
CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP
The Bullwinkle Club Championship has taken many
and varied forms. To date, only two people have held the title: Jacob Edwards
(1995-1998); David
Smerdon (1999-‘2000’); although Konrad Uebel (interim champion 2000) is still
fighting to have recognised his claim to the Dragon Championship.
OFFICE BEARERS
Largely unknown or uncontactable.
ANNUAL GENERAL MEETINGS
Since the club’s inception, there have been two
of these:
·
Sometime in the mid 90s, somewhere on
the South-East Freeway, where it was voted
(unanimously) to adopt the Pet Shop Boys’ Opportunities as the Club’s official anthem.
·
In 2007, half way up Mount Gravatt, where it was decided (again, somehow,
unanimously) to change the Club’s official anthem to the Pussycat Dolls’ Don’t Cha.
FUNDING
In the good old days, Club Bullwinkle paid all
its affiliation and entry fees from tournament prize-money. The source of this
income having dried up, the club now fills its coffers courtesy of Bartley,
a spotted elephant who patrols the transfer tables at the Three Monkeys, shaking down club members for loose
change.
Rumours of an obscenely rich anonymous
benefactor have persistently been denied. (Although the team did stay in that penthouse at
Caloundra...)
Jacob Edwards
once bet $1
with Redcliffe’s Mark Stokes on the outcome of
Corner v Stawski in the 1999 Phoenix Cup, but
that particular golden egg was blundered away in time trouble.
CORRESPONDENCE
Please direct all inquiries and interclub
challenges to fatruphus@yahoo.co.uk